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i guess my thoughts right now are just in a mess of confusion and so i'm about to be real honest. i think it's funny how just because a few pictures on facebook get people talking like they know exactly what's going on when really, they don't. i also think it's funny when people forget that it is possible to like more then one person. there is one boy in home and one boy on a mission. one of them i fell in love with when i was 18 years old...while the other is one who i hope to one day be in love with. i guess the thoughts going into my mind is fear, fear to love again and to get hurt. fear to love an old love and fear to love a new one.

"This is the girl who is afraid of love, because she has already lost so much."

A lot can happen in two years...that i'm a strong believer of. and what if, just what if, when i come home...i don't want either of my options? what if there isn't even an option to come home to? again, it's the fear of opening my heart completely. one boy knows my heart, my fears, my joys, knows me from the inside and out. the other boy is just learning those things about me and it's fun and exciting and at the same time, i'm trying not to be a distraction to him in hopes he'd do the same for me when i'm gone come march. life is interesting because you never quite know what to expect. you go to bed planning your day out in your mind when really, how many times do our days actually go exactly according to plan? there are days when we'll get an unexpected phone call, come home to a roommate who is in need of a listener or plan a last minute meeting with your teacher after class. life is just so full of distractions but who ever said they can be bad? wouldn't life be boring if we planned it exactly the way we wanted to? if we didn't have those surprise moments that could either bring a smile to our face or cause an instant headache? i guess what i'm trying to say is that i can't plan what's going to happen when i come home september of 2013. i mean hello - 2013. enough said. forever from now. i just need to enjoy each day at a time. not worry what's going to happen tomorrow. but just be ready.

♥ The Girl Who Is Excited For Devo Tomorrow