I Lost THE Bet.

On March 31st, 2009 I made a bet. This bet was printed on a certificate that had my name written on it, the date, his signature, the description of the bet, and the amount that was due to the winner. It was a bet pretty legit at the time but completely unfair after May 24th, 2009. This bet was a bet I made with Paul's second oldest brother Eddie. The bet is something I'm NOT going to write about in detail on here...but lets just say is was a sisterly brotherly kind of bet...worth $100? I KNOW! Ridiculous. But, Eddie and I are super competitive and I figured I would keep the bet for two years since I was still dating Paul and it was about him but...we broke up on May 24th so from that day forth...the deal was completely unfair!

Today after I taught my lesson at church, Eddie and I went to another room and talked. I told him I had a confession to make and I explained how I lost the bet. He was pretty much on the floor laughing. I mean, he might as well been. We then had that sisterly/brotherly argument on who was really being fair and haha we had a good laugh about the bet. But then, we had a serious talk. We talked a lot about Paul and how I was doing with that and he gave me some big brother advice and it was just good. I did admit to him that I love Paul. I told him I still loved him but that I wasn't sure if I was still in love with him. Those are two completely different things..Eddie also told me to never settle for less. That I'm an amazing girl and deserve the best. That I need to live life and to make sure that I fight for what I want.

He asked me if I was going to tell Paul about the bet and I laughed responding with the answer no! It would make more sense to you if you knew what the bet was, I know, but trust me...it is not something that your ex boyfriend would want to know while he was in a different country serving a mission! But then, Eddie confused me on telling me I should tell him but then also not tell him...So, what should I do?

Eddie told me that the best thing I can do for Paul is be me when I write to him. To not hold anything back because of being scared of what he'll think. Picturing himself in Paul's position as a missionary right now...he would like to know what I was doing rather then hiding it. So, I'm going to tell him about the bet. I'm going to also tell him whenever I'm seriously dating a guy. He doesn't need to know about all the dates I go on but I think it's fair that he knows when I'm with another guy and it's getting serious. I want to be me when I write to him for the next 18 months. I don't want to see him for the first time in two years and use the "oh, by the way" line and tell him what really went on in my life. He doesn't deserve that..he deserves better.

He told me that I didn't have to pay him the $100 dollars. He told me that he was surprised that Paul didn't rip up the bet when he saw it sitting on my window shield. He only did it just to tease me :) Eddie is an amazing guy and his future wife Rachael is so lucky to have him and his new family is so lucky to have him as well. I hope that one day he can actually be my brother but then again..we're practically family according to him :)

I decided to tear up the certificate. I don't need it anymore. At first, I used it as a comfort; something that I could lean on to remember the feelings I once had when I was with Paul. I guess you could say that I felt that if I kept the bet...Paul would want me back when he came home. Eddie doesn't want me to feel guilty about this bet, not at all! So I tore it up. Yes, I lost the bet but that is not going to keep me for fighting for what I want.


"A guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe, just maybe...forever...." Unknown


Liv