Because I Love You.

As I'm laying in my bed procrastinating on getting ready for the gym, I couldn't help but think about my family and their absence in church. My time home is slowly coming to an end and I was reflecting on my emotions from when I first got home and how they are now. When I first got home I thought it was completely miserable. I saw my parents constantly changing and sadly they couldn't see it. The way they would speak, act, etc was all different. I just wanted to shake them because to me it was so obvious what was missing! That 'glow' wasn't in them. I don't even know how to describe it in words but I could tell they weren't as happy as they were before when they were active members. A part of their happiness was missing--truth.

Being home I have been able to see how badly anti Mormon literature really is. I've found a book or two accidentally in their room while searching for something else and yes, it is very tempting to read! But, what is the point of reading it? Why put confusion in your mind? I know that is what Satan wants you to do but you can't give in. The one thing that we have that he wants to control is our agency. We can be tempted to do many things but in the end, Satan doesn't make the decision for us...we do. It's a hard concept to accept because as humans, we would like others to take the blame for our mistakes but in the end it is truly our decision.

One thing that I have come to realize {{and I may of wrote about it once on a different post}} is that Heavenly Father didn't give me this trial. He wouldn't of wanted my parents to fall away from the church. I believe that he knew that this could happen. He knew that because my parents have their agency, they could of either chose to not believe anymore or chose to disregard anything they read and continued to have the faith. He knew that with either option, I can endure through it. Before I came home I would catch myself almost blaming my Heavenly Father for what has happened with my family but really, it wasn't him. My parents chose this and because of that, many are affected by it. They chose to accept the confusion by letting their minds wonder off to a point where it is now hard for them to want to come back. Once you put yourself in a situation where you'll meet a fork in a road and make a decision on which way you want to go...if one option is against what Heavenly Father wants, Satan will come in and take full force.

Mommy, I know you are reading this. Richie, you may be reading this. Chris, you probably don't even know I have a blog and daddy, if anything mommy is probably reading this to you:

I know this church is true with all of my heart, mind, and soul. I know that there are some things that don't make sense about the church but I know that in the eternities it will all be clear and we will be able to understand it all. There is a reason we don't know everything--we wouldn't strive to progress! If we understood everything in the scriptures, there would be no need to keep studying them and learning from them. There really wouldn't be a point for anything if we knew it all! Mommy, daddy, I know that the feelings you felt in the temple were real. I know when you would faithfully attend the temple for a session that you felt the spirit testifying its truth. Yes, you probably were a little confused on some points but isn't everyone? Every temple attender goes to learn, not to go saying "I already know all of this". And when we got sealed in the temple as a family for time and all eternity...you can't say that the feelings you felt that day weren't real? When as a family we all knelt at the altar, joining hands, how can you disregard the strong spirit in the room that day? You can't. And never will. You can say all you want that "the church isn't true" but I know, from the bottom of your hearts, you can never completely 100% deny the church. The church has been nothing but good in our lives! If you want to know the truth, ask someone who knows what they're talking about, not people who think they know what they're talking about. You wouldn't ask an english teacher how to perform a surgery now would you? No, you would ask a doctor. Same difference.


♥ The Girl Who Just Does Things Out Of Love