I Complain and This is What I Get

For me, there comes a period of time (especially last semester at BYU-I)where I complain how there are "no boys for me" "poor me" "what's wrong with me" phase and my roommate Sarah would always tell me, "Olivia, God is going to purposely put all these guys in your life at one moment just to make you stop complaining" and I never once believed her...boy was I wrong! Almost every time I complained about there being no boys in my life, the following week there would be a few and then I would start complaining about what to do and how there are too many. My other roommate Emily said to me today, "I hate it when sometimes you have no guys and then other times you have two or three. so annoying" - Emily Jenson. Wow, story of my freakin life! Literally! My mind since I've been home has been sooooo chaotic. I've liked some guys, had flings with some, but never got to the point where I was ready for a relationship. And I guess the hard thing is is that I don't want them to think I'm just a "tease". Because, I don't mean to be at all. I know my friendliness towards guys may come off as flirting because I've been told very so often since I've gotten to college but, that honestly is just who I am. I can't make myself flirt or not flirt, it just naturally happens and that's my way of connecting with someone and getting to know them. I don't think it's a bad thing but, it does suck when you find out that your friendliness has kind of been leading someone on :/ I truly can say with all of my heart I don't try to break boys hearts (as much as Sarah says I do..haha brat.). I think I just assume that a guy can tell when I'm being nice or when I'm flirting but haha sometimes, I can't even distinguish myself when I'm doing it.

But, back to the quote by Emily...I am in the same situation as her! There is one guy who I had a thing with but, we both knew that realistically, things probably weren't going to happen between us and we were fine with that; we just enjoyed each others company. But, because that is the case, I don't really want to go back to how we were before he left. It takes a lot for me to actually kiss a guy, even if it doesn't seem like that for the other guy...it's true. I don't just kiss guys just to kiss them and so kissing this particular guy, really took a lot of effort! But, now that we are in the situation we are now, I don't want to be friends with benefits either...I really would just much rather be good friends and keep the friendship we have :) Friends with benefits really is dumb in my opinion...so pointless. But, even though I didn't really "have anything" with this guy, I started to complain to myself how there are no guys...and what do you know...three guys in one day just seem to pop into my life haha. This is when I start to complain about what I wanted the whole time! I'm just a complainer about boys, what can I say :) We'll see how this situation turns out...doubt again, anything will happen but, I just love the whole dating scene and, it's always a good experience to date other guys.

If you think you've been trying to tease me or get me jealous...you're messing with the wrong girl and you couldn't be more wrong.


Liv