Am I Afraid to Fall?

Tonight I was with some of my girlfriends watching the Finale of The Bachelor. At the end of it, one of the girls talked about how she was on the phone with one guy but this other guy that she actually likes was calling her on the other line. So, she told the one guy that her friend was calling and needed to talk to them before going to bed and then started talking to the other guy. The girls suggested that she should tell the other guy that she just isn't interested and she explained that she kind of already did but he just isn't getting it. I then made the comment to something of the effect of, "well, I think it's kind of hard to tell a guy that you just don't like them" while one of the girls made the comment, "yeah, you would know." I was kind of bothered by that. Driving home I decided to just let my mind kind of ponder on that. Do I really tell a lot of guys that I'm just not feeling them? Why? Am I afraid to fall? Since my somewhat recent, not really, but hard break up with Paul...I think I have been afraid to fall for someone. I know I talk about boys a lot and how so many are so cute and how I wished some would like me but...I think I'm just all talk when it comes to that! I think I am afraid to fall. I don't think it's because I'm afraid I'll forget about Paul because if that was the case...I wouldn't even be thinking about boys - Paul and I are broken up..done. But, I think it's just that I opened myself so much to him and he's are my best friend who knows so much about me...that it's kind of hard to start over. I met a boy about a week and a half ago. He took me on a very fun/cute date this past weekend and I think I'm actually starting to like this guy...but do I let myself fall for him? You know, I figure, I'm going back to school next month..is it worth the fall? BAH! Dating life can just be so complicated and overwhelming sometimes. I know I may be thinking "way too much/into the future" but...that's what us girls do! We like to be prepared and organize :) Do I dare take that leap of faith?

This isn't the little boy that the story is about but, this morning, one of the boys I baby-sit before getting in the car to take him to school randomly told me to squat down. So, I do as the little boy says and behind his back, he was holding a little flower and put it behind my ear :) Why can't boys still be that cute? I want a boy to pick me flowers and give them to me for no apparent reason.


Liv