Does My Heart Really Seem That Flexible?

I don't get guys.
If you kiss a girl...I feel like that means you like her.
Just her.
Right?
Cause, why would you kiss a girl
if you still had feelings for someone else?
Yeah, I have a boy on a mission
and I've kissed 4 guys since he's been gone.
But this boy doesn't live 5 minutes from me
or go to the same school as me
let alone live in the same country as me.
So, I don't look at it as
"kissing another boy while liking another one".
Totally different situation.

Putting my heart out on the table is something I fear.
So, I tried really hard to put my heart out.
Which I feel like last weekend I started to.
What's worse then a guy telling you he doesn't like you anymore
is when a guy makes a really dumb
remark
decision
comment
move
choice
because them not liking you is a personal choice.
A stupid remark, decision, comment, move, choice,
is something that they knew they were doing.

Don't kiss a girl and then tell them you could start to
have feelings for another girl.
Seriously?
This is why I get scared of relationships.
I'm scared of getting hurt.
Even if I barely like the guy or I'm head over heels.
I always get hurt one way or another.