A Glimpse of The Future

Tonight I baby-sat Grace and Hunter Florian. Grace (1 year 4ish months old) was starting to feel under the weather and didn't take a single nap today so she was already asleep when I arrived. Once I put Hunter to bed, I thought I was going to have it easy for the rest of the night...I couldn't of been more wrong. Around 9:05, I heard Grace crying and knew that all hell was about to let loose! So I hurried over to her room to find her standing at her crib just wanting to be picked up. Her mom told me that if she woke up before she or her husband got home to just sit with her on the rocking chair and give her some TLC. So, that was exactly what I did. I carried her over to the rocking chair and sat there with her trying to comfort her as best as I could. Poor thing she was just holding on to me crying in tears because she obviously didn't feel good. At some point, I finally said a little prayer for Grace that she may be able to find peace and comfort and to be able to fall back asleep. Shortly afterward...she was out :) It was so hard for me to let go of her when her dad came home. Not only because I was scared she'd wake up (which she did) but the pure love that was there...I didn't want to give it up. It's funny, I always wear my scrubs when I baby-sit because I never know what I am in for. When her dad took her out of my arms, my shirt was wet from tears and boogers :) haha! But, as I was holding her...a couple of things came to my mind...

The first thing that came to my mind was an experience my daddy had over the summer that he didn't actually tell me about...I found out from my mommy :) When I was baby-sitting the Hilton boys (Caleb, Issac, and Luke) I needed some dinner so my dad came by and dropped some food off for me. When he was out front, he called me to come out. I came outside holding Luke with one arm, holding Issac's hand with the other arm, and Caleb walking right next to me. I was wearing complete scrubs, my hair was a mess, and I don't think I was wearing any make-up. Little did I know...my dad had a complete freak out when he saw me! When he saw me with those little boys with my hair all messed up...he totally had a daddy's moment. His little princess is growing up! Haha he thought I looked like a complete mom! I think it's cute that he hasn't told me that but even cuter that he had a freak out about it :)

The second thought that came to me was putting myself in mommy mode and thinking of Grace as my own daughter. When I was holding her, all I wanted was for her to feel better. I wanted her to stop being upset and to just relax in my arms. The way she was holding on tight to me showed me that she needed me which melted my heart. I started to think of how she is only a baby crying in my arms; crying in my arms because she needs me and knows she can get the love she needs from me. I then started to think of Grace as she gets older...would she still want that from me? Would she still come to me in comfort? In need? Just like she did when she was a baby? I just started to think of the relationships that I want to form with my children. I want my children to know they can always come to me for anything. I want them to cry in my arms like they did when they were babies. They may not of remembered it...but they needed me and that is all that should matter. I can't wait to have my own children and to love and nourish them when they need me the most.

The words 'I love you' can truly make a difference in your life


Liv